The Old Return to Me
by Ukyou
Summary: Finally, with years alone without anyone, Sakura goes out to find Li, yet, her quest for Li turns out to be a quest to bring back her sanity. This my my first fanfic in about 2 months, and I just got over my writer's block! PLEASE R/R! I NEED ENCOURAGEMEN


**Return to Me**

****By Ukyou

Note: Listening to a sad song while reading this is recommended for the "mood". If you don't have one, here's the address of one (or at least it's a midi of the song that inspired this story)

[http://www.vgmusic.com/music/console/sony/psx/ccross_Radical_Dreamers.mid][1]

It's the ending theme of Chrono Cross

Furthur notice: This story is slightly based on Chono Trigger and Chrono Cross.

Also, hair spray doesn't blow up, but I needed something…!

INTRODUCTION

--========================================================-

I remember the day I lost Li. That was 6 years ago. He was swallowed by the "Chronos" card, 

and I never saw him again.I've long gotten over it, but sometimes, it just strikes me like a knife in my neck, just waiting to make me weak inside. I'd also have to say, its created quite an attitude, against others and my own self. I just wish I could see him again.

I usually walk around alone at night, remembering that he once walked alongside me, and also the day we had together on the beach, but those days are long gone, no matter how much I cry, mourn, or agonize, he is still gone. I have to realize that someday. Yet, I still imagine that he is here, talking to me, as I tell him my secrets and wishes. I wish he were really here…

But he's gone…..

…and I'll never see him again….

-==============-

CHAPTER 1—The Path

-================-

I usually hold the book of the Clow, which has been long sealed. I just stare at the cover, and open it, just looking at a few cards that we caught together. Then, I get to that damn Chronos card, which creates memories which I want to forget. I usually close the book, and cry over an emotional scar of which I want to forget. 

Kero tried to cheer me up before he had to disappear. I remember him saying a sentence before he, too, was sealed into the Clow Book. He told me to go find him. I don't think I ever will. I've searched everywhere.

My father grew a Cherry Blossom tree in the front yard a few months before he died. That was three years ago. A second in the flow of time. Once a month, I pluck the most beautiful branch, and keep it in a small jar. Near it is a small picture of Li and I. 

Unfortunatly, Meilin was also swallowed up by the Chronos card before I could catch the card. It was the only way to stop it. It was also the only way she could possibly find Li winthin the flow of time. Floating in that space, not knowing where to go, only to try to find a lost sould, drifting with the items flowing into it. Tomoyo always comes over nowadays, and Touya has literally become my new father, with Mizuni at his side. 

Its hard to accept that something is lost so quickly. Two friends, can be taken away, by a merciless being called "time". We are forced to live our lives, controlled by fate, and to accept everything that happens to us.

I'm eighteen now. I've seen hell, love, and hate. Mrs. Sakura Kinomoto, one who has flowed within the bellows of time for eitheen full years. Whom fate has blessed with a lost soul…

And for three years, I've tried every way possible to get Li back. Nothing has worked. I've even tried the Chronos card again, but I don't have the time card required to actually travel within the flow of time safely. Li still has it, and I hope he is alright, because the book still shows that it is captured… which may or may not be good news…

A day. A day, 24 hours. That is how long my lafe changed. And I swear! In 24 hours, I can get Li back!

….and I can't believe that I found him, in a day. Yet, in the flow of time, a day can be either 24 hours, or an eternity…

You see, it was in a single day, that I found Li again…

-========-

Chapter II – The Journey

-================

It was today, on July 8th, that I would find him, regardless of what I had to do. 

I walked over to the beach one day, remembering what exactly had happened on that very beach. 

I was swimming in the water, and Li stood there, just looking out, with the waves hitting his legs ever so deliactly. I swam back to him, as he continued staring out. I stood next to him, asking what was wrong. 

He told me silently that Wei, his guardian and teacher, was suffering from Alcheimer's. One day, he could not remember how to cook, and soon after, Wei couldn't remember who Li was. Obviously, this pain was eating away at Li, and I felt sorry for him. So, I took off my bracelet, the one that Yukito had given to me before he left for America, and gave it ito him, reminding him that someone was there for him. He briefly thanked me, as he walked furthur up the shelf, and asked for me to leave him alone for a while.

This only happened a few months before he disappeared forever. I put my hands up to my face, and wondered that if he saw me again, if he would recognize me. I know he would be expecting a brown-short-haired girl, who always has a smaile carried with her, but I have changed. I just know he wouldn't recognize me. Now I have long hair, and I am usually always serious. That's what something depressing does to you.

It wasn't that long after this, that I noticed the waves. Instead of crashing into the shore, they seemed to vibrate. Then, they would disappear, followed by the next wave. I stood up quickly, and saw my hands seemingly vibrate too. I then looked at my entire body, as all I saw was a bright light. I looked at where the waves were, and I saw a pedistal with the Clow Book on it. I quickly ran over to it, and opened it. Inside, the Chronos card sat, with a small piece of paper. 

I took out the card, and then looked at the piece of paper:

_I know your secrets._

_ _

__After I read the paper, I heard a man call out my name. I looked back, and saw a tall man, in a robe, and who looked like he was my age. His face, very different from anyone I know. Obviously, I didn't know who he was. He seemed to be a few months older than I was, and he said my name again. 

I asked him who he was, and he simply replied that his name was "Chronos". He took out his arm for a handshake, but I never touch people's hands. So, he frowned and put his hand in his pocket.

_Sakura _he replied _I know all your secrets. I know why you never smile. I know why you grew your hair. I know why you have changed so much._

I had a frightening feeling, as he replied "Li".

I stood there, not able to speak, as he told me where I was. I was in the "Blank". The place in which time never included. So, as he said, I wasn't affected by time here. I was merely floating in a river, tied to the bottom so I would not move. 

Then, I asked him how he knew about Li, and he simply replied that he knows everything about time, because he now is time.

So, he led me to a door. A door, just standing in the middle of nowhere, and told me that I would find who I was looking for here. So, I opened the door, and walked in.

I ended up in a room. It happened to be a small room, inside a one-roomed home. I walked outside, and noticed I was near the zoo. I recognized this river, it was next to the zoo! Yet….the zoo wasn't here. 

I continued walking down the bank of the river, as a girl of about 13 years bumped into me. She said that she was sorry, and ran to the house of which I had emerged from. I took out the Chronos card, and looked at it. Obviously, I had opened the door to another time. 

_You'll find Li at the end of this door_

_ _

__I could hear that man's voice in that subconscience. I walked back to that house, and opened the door. I saw the little girl again, and she looked at me back. She asked who I was, and I told her my name. She told me that her name was "Yumiko" and that this was her house. 

I asked her if she knew anyone named "Li", and she seemed to react to the name. She started to blush, as she told me to walk outside. So, I tried to apologize, but the girl wouldn't accept them. 

So, I walked away. Into the fields. He was here, I could sense him here.

I looked back, and my long hair blew into my face. I saw someone standing there, behind me. Looking at me. Staring at me. Yet, my hair was in the way. As I threw it to the side, he disappeared. Yet, he was just stamding there…

I remember looking out, wondering if I had seen a specter, just holding my hair back, and looking out, as the wind blew. 

So, I kept walking, watching as the sky soon turned dark. Obviously, it was nearing nightfall, and I kept walking forward. I knew Li had to be somewhere, and he couldn't just vanish. I kept walking, and I saw several people around me. Then, I noticed that they were actually dead bodies. I had walked back to the village, and it seemed to be burned down. I kept running, as I came to a hill. I saw that girl, Yumiko, running up the hill…

…with Li and I?!?!

I saw an arrow head straight towards Yumiko. I looked at my hand, as it seemed it was fading away, as I quickly summoned a card.

….SHIELD CARD!! RELEASE!!

Yumiko was surrounded by the blueish shield, as my hand started to reappear. I saw Li look at Yumiko, as I walked over to him. 

I reached out my hand towards Yumiko, and helped her get up. I looked at Li, and quietly said "Hi, Li".

I saw him turn red, as I heard him the very things that I just dreaded.

_Who are you?_

_ _

__I turned around to hide my tears. Obviously he wouldn't recognize me, he was the "Younger Li", and I was much older, and looked much more different than the Sakura he knows at this period of time. Still, I couldn't possibly feel the same towards this Li. I needed my Li, the Li that was stuck in time by the Chronos card…

_Look at the lonely people…_

_Where do they all come from?_

I thought of what Chronos had told me at the Time that Never Existed. 

"_Li will be there…"_

_ _

_Elenor Rigby picks up the rice where a wedding has been_

_Lives in a dream_

_ _

_Waits by the window_

_Waits…_

_ _

_ _

__I walked down the road, as the town burned all around me. In looked to the right, as I saw the flames rise higher. I kept my hands in my pockets, just ignoring the cries around me. 

I knew he was here…

The Li I've been looking for…

….my Li…

I kept walking, until I saw another door in front of me. I looked at it, as the Chronos card flashed.

…so I walked through it…

-===============-

Chapter 3 – The Cherry Blossom

=======================

As I stepped out, I ended up standing near a large field again. It was filled with pretty small blue flowers, and the wind blew them to the side ever-so-gently. I sat down, because my legs were tired. As I did, the wind blew again, and I felt a tap on my shoulder…

I quickly jerked back, as I saw Chronos behind me. His robes and hair seemed to blow away with the wind, just as mine did too. He put his sword down on the ground, as I saw him about to speak.

_Sakura _he started _I know what you have just been through…_

_ _

__I looked at him strangely, and asked him how exactly he knew. He told me exactly what I thought he would say. That it just comes.

_He didn't recognize you, which is your greatest fear_ he told me. 

Yet, I told him that I WOULD find him! I would, I'm too strong to just give up!

_It is all up to fate, for it is not you who will make the decisions soon…_

_ _

__So, he walked to a nearby Cherry Tree.

_Look at this Cherry Tree, Sakura. Someday, this tree, as beautiful as it is, it will wilt and die someday. Just oike the flowers and the grass. Yet, do you think it is the tree's decision to die? Do you think that it really decides how long it will live? No. Instead, it is fate that says that the trees will die, that the grass will fall and rot away as well. Fate governs all, and no one is out of its reach. Because, even the tree says it will never die, but it will happen. Also, is it not fate that allowed you to find the Chronos card? You must remember that it is the Chronos card that allows you to be here at all, for it is the key to this place. Yet, what I say to you is exactly what you don't want to hear, but fate has brought us here together also. Remember that, Sakura, for in time you will face…_

_ _

_I WILL FACE WHAT?! _I quickly cut him off. I didn't believe in this fate crap, and he won't make a believer outta me, even if he hangs me!

Then, he walked over to me, and put his hand on my arm. I stuudered, because I was a bit scared of this man. He seemed to be very strangely…

_Sakura, you have changed much since I first met you. You may not recognize me, because it was such a long time ago. _He said slowly, before he faded away from this time. Just disappeared, like a magician.

As he disappeared, another person appeared from that strange door. I could recognize the person immediately…

…It was…Tomoyo…

Yet, she seemed to fall as the door opened. She was the Tomoyo I knew, the one that was my age. I caught her, as the door closed again. 

I tried to wake her up, but she didn't seem to want to wake up. So, I just let her lie down, right next to the tree.

---

Finally, an hour later, Tomoyo came to her senses. She looked at me, and just asked where we were. 

I told her that it would take too long to actually explain it, but it had to do with the Chronos card, which had changed our lives irrovetibly.Instead, she simnply smiled, and said that she was glad that I was alright. 

I took some time to think about what "Chronos" had told me. Fate…governs all of us…? 

Then, I thought about those doors. The doors that appeared out of nowhere, and allowed us to go somewhere.

So, obviously, there had to be a door here that could allow us to go somewhere else, but there was no telling of where it was. It could be anywhere here, yet maybe fate planned this beforehand. Maybe I wasn't supposed to find this door, and I'd have to go back…

..but NO! Chronos said that I would find this door, and Li was HERE! Somewhere, he is all alone, just waiting for me to unlock him from this foul place. 

…and then I thought about something else he told me. He said that the Chronos card was the only key to getting here, so I needed the Chronos card to open these doors…

…he also told me that I would face off someone here…..

…come to think of it, Tomoyo didn't have the Chronos card!! How did she even get here?

Then, I could feel extreme heat behind my back, as I rolled to the side. A huge ball of fire fired off to where I stood, creating a small crater. I looked back, and I saw Tomoyo, but she was surrounded completely by fire.

  
"As you can see, Ms. Cardcaptor, I am not your friend Tomoyo. I am instead the guardian of the first realm, the Cherry Tree. I am the Firey." Tomoyo told me.

…then I remembered the firey. It was an elemental card, one of four. Still, I captured the Firey card over eight years ago, unless…

"Ms. Cardcaptor, fate has allowed me to come back. You captured me eight years ago, and my companions and I to return to the Chronos. Remember, Sakura, fate governs all, including the Clow Cards." She told me.

So, now I understood it. The four elemental cards were more powerful than the other cards for one reason. Obviously, they were guardians of the Chronos card.

…I was in trouble, I stopped with this work over seven years ago, after I sealed all the cards. I didn't even have a card to help me here. 

…and obviously, fate wasn't on my side…

-========-

Part 4- First Guardian : Firey of Cherry Blossom

-===============================-

I slowly cowered back, as the Firey moved towards me. I could feel the extreme heat as it moved closer, and closer. 

I started to sweat, as the battle started.

_ _

_I, the Firey._

_Pure energy, power, and destruction. _

_I watch over an area governed by fate, and protected solely by me_

_This area, leading to more of what has really happened._

_My friends, working to guard their positions as well._

_Prepare to be pushed furthur back…_

_ _

_ _

The firey instantly shot a flaming ball of fire at my position. I jumped away, waiting for an opening.

The firey turned around, as I ripped a branch off from the tree. I waited, until the Firey attacked again. It struck the stick, lighting it on fire. So, I lit the tree quickly with the stick, and it burned into a flaming inferno. Smoke started to form, as the Firey card couldn't see where I was. It started to cough, as I stood behind it, not able to see it, but sensing that it was there.

So, I took a bottle of hair spray from my pocket, and I threw it at the firey, making sure that the lid was open. As the liquid struck it, the bottle exploded, as the highly flammable substance blew up on contact. As it did, it made me go flying backwards, making me crash into the door. 

The firey card disappeared into a small puddle, as a card sat where the Firey once stood. I knew what it was, it was the Firey card. So, I picked it up, as I could hear Meilin's faint voice in the air. 

_…thank you…_

So I knew, Meilin had stopped here, and unfortunatly was swallowed up by fate. I had just released her from this realm, and she could go back to where she belonged…

Then, a few seconds later, Chronos appeared again.

_I see that you have found out what you have to go through to see Li again. Well, it seems that you will be able to keep getting closer to Li, wherever he may be. Still, remember the obstacles that are ahead of you…_

_ _

_Also, I see that you know the secret of why the elemantal cards clearly exist. Very good.You're learning already._

_ _

__Before he could disappear, I asked him one question. I asked him exactly what Chronos was.

So, he repied in a very strong voice _Chronos is a place that exists…yet really doesn't._

_ _

__Then, with a bright flash, he disappeared again…

-===========-

Chapter 5 – Getting Clear Now…

-======================-

I woke up, thinking I was in a dream.

The Firey Card and the other elemental cards have been released.

I know clearly why they exist now.

…but what is the Chronos card?

Is it uncertainty?

…can it be that fate itself says that this fact will never be known?

Am I stuck in the dark reality of my own depression?

I don't know…

…but as far as I know, my quest has been just like rain. It builds up, creating a cloud, and then it just falls, repeating the process all over again.

For all I know, I've been on this quest before

Deep within my reality.

And yet I haven't. 

…and this confuses me to the point in which I know I must do one thing…

…keep walking forward…

-==============-

Chapter 6- The Clouds Part, and the Journey begins.

-==================================-

I know what I have to go through to see Li again.

I need to look past my own self, the "Sakura" I created for myself. I need to conquer my own fears, and finally be in reality, the world I've been hiding from for such a long time. I need to open my eyes, and see the world for what it is. It is my recreated nightmare.

I'll have to fight and recapture four cards that I had originally captured over seven years ago. I have one card, but it wasn't exactly easy to catch this beast. I must admit it, though, I was scared like hell while I was trying to catch it…

---

I walked up to the burnt up Cherry Tree, as I looked behind it. Quickly, I realized that it was a door! I could finaslly continue on my journey!

---

I walked through the door, not caring what would be on the other side. When I did get to the other side, I noticed I was somewhere that was very familiar. It was the park, in Nagoya. My father went there with Touya and I for a summer. I looked at myself, and noticed that I looked the same as I always did, long hair and all. Then, I noticed that Dad and Touya were here, and I was wearing a Yukata. Obviously, this was the day that we saw our mother's grave. I looked at Touya, as he seemed to think that my 18-year-old appearance was unusual. He was shorter than I was!

Then, I looked at my father. I haven't seen that man for three years. Since the day that I had to live with Touya. Alone with Touya. I walked up to the father that I haven't seen for an eternity. I just hugged him, thinking of how much I longed for this to heppen. Then, I remembered. I was in Chronos. My father, Touya, the park, they weren't real at all…

I was holding a dream. A dream from my own memory…

So, I ran. I just ran away. Out of the park, and into the nearby forest. Away from the dreams. I could hear a voice all around me.

_You can't run away from something that doesn't exist._

_ _

_…and yet you are._

_ _

_…it is fate's decision._

_ _

__So, I stopped running. I sat down, and looked into the sky. The sky that wasn't real. Still, it was as beautiful as the real sky, and I had to believe it.

The wind started to blow again. My hair blew into my face, as I noticed someone staring at me, just like before. 

When I threw my hair out of the way, the person was gone again. Just missing…

Someday, I'm going to cut off this hair, and when he pops again, nothing will be in my way to see him that time. 

I wanted to know more about exactly where I was. I know I'm stuck somewhere, which isn't real. Instead, I'm living within my own reality. I'm reliving old memories, ones that for some reason I've produced for myself. 

Then I thought again. I was sitting on the beach, just wondering when I got here. Did that card call me to bring about another nightmare? Or maybe it was fate…?

…this world is too damn supersticious. Even I'm starting to believe in this fate crap…

Still, I don't like not controlling my own life. I'm not believing in fate. Ever.

I finally decided to sit up, when I saw a familiar face in the distance. Someone else walking towards me again. She was very familiar. It was Yumiko, from that village before. She walked towards me, but her eyes were pure blue. Ihad a bad feeling about this…

-==========-

Chapter 7 – Guardian Battle 2—The Watey of Forest Clearing

-=========================================-

She reached out with her hand, and I jerked back. I was afraid. I was afraid that this small forest clearing was a guardian spot.

She then walked back, and bowed. I saw a light shine, as she cupped both hands, and showed me what was in her hands. In her hands was a handful of water. I really jerked back, because it was obviously a guardian.

…it was the watey.

Yumiko slowly lifted her head, and I saw that mouth was filled with two sharp teeth. Yumiko growled, as The watey card ripped out of her body. 

_Let go of your dreams, and conquer your fears._

_ _

_I, the Watey._

_Moving with uncertainty_

_I watch over an area governed by fate, and protected solely by me_

_This area, leading to more of what has really happened._

_My friends, working to guard their positions as well._

_Prepare to be pushed furthur back…_

_ _

I didn't know what to do. I coould bearely defeat this card when I WAS a cardcaptor! I would have to use my brains instead of just attacking. Also, its kinda hard to fight in a yukata.

Yumiko's body fell to the ground, asthe watey gave another growl. I ducked, as it shot a stream of water at my head. I kept dodging her attacks, until one hit me in the arm. I cowered in pain, as the watey saw that I was vulnerable. 

I quickly had to think. Obviously, I had a card, but I didn't think that I could call the cards anymore. 

Yet, I took a deep breath, and took out the card. I just threw it at the watey, as it looked at it curiously. So, I merely said "The Firey", slowly, as the Firey was released in a raging inferno.

The release was so great, it sent the watey flying backwards. As it recovered, the Firey flew high into the air, with the watey flowing behind it. Then, the Firey turned around, and sent a burst of fire going straight down towards the watey card. I could hear a liud "Crash" as the fire cleared, and the Firey returned to its card. 

Where the watey landed was a large puddle, and a soaked card in the middle. It was the watey. 

Then, I saw Yumiko's body rise into the air, as she started to shine with light. Something dropped from her neck, and Yumiko tried to get it back, but she rose higher and higher, not able to get her keepsake back.

I walked over to the small item. It was a small bag, tied by string, and a small familiar item.

It was the clow wand…

…but how did Yumiko have it? Only members of my family had it, and it went back a long time…..

I hastily opened the small bag, as I could realize that there were cards inside. 

The Time. The Shot. The Lightening.

These were all Li's Clow cards! Also, when I looked furthur into the bag, I saw a few of Li's elemental cards. I took one out, and looked at it. I could read a corner of the card, as something was written in black.

_I am watching you Sakura._

_ _

I heard footsteps behind me again. I knew it was Li, it just had to be.

So, I just ran towards Li, and hugged him. I was so relieved that he had found me…

Unfortunatly, hy time in the light was cut short, as I heard him talk.

_Is this your idea of a joke, Sakura?_

_ _

__I looked up, and saw Chronos' face. I jerked back, and tripped, as he started to laugh at me.

_Ha,ha _he told me _You are just too funny and pathetic, just like the good days_

_ _

__The good days? I wondered about that. Who the hell WAS Chronos?

_I can assure you, Sakura, I am not Li. So, feel disappointed?_

_ _

__Then, he told me that those cards were indeed Li's. He himself didn't know why Yumiko had it, because she was from the past. Or maybe he did know, but he wasn;t telling me..

_Sakura, this world is all about fate._

_ _

__There he goes again. With this fate crap.

So, he told me yet another explanation, as I nearly feel asleep.

_Still, even if fate governs you, you still remain the same. Hating my lectures…_

_ _

_Oh well, I always found you to be funny._

_ _

__…and he disappeared again. 

I have to ask him how to do that sometime. It might get me out of calculus earlier than expected^_^

As he disappeared, another door appeared…

I looked at it, and then deicided to walk through it…

-==========-

Chapter VIII – What Lies Behind the Door

-=============================-

I walked through, as I saw flashbacks of my life.

I saw myself falling down after my first step.

I saw the crying and mourning of my mother when she died.

I saw myself open that book.

I saw myself scream, as Li was taken away by the Chronos card…

…and I saw myself, standing here, alone.

I looked around. It was dark, like I was just stuck in a box without holes. I couldn't even see myself, so I quickly felt to see if it was there. 

With relief, I discovered that it was merely dark.

Then, I saw the ground shine, as a small thin path immuminated, looking as if it were to go for miles and miles forward. So, I just decided to walk the path. I had nothing else to do. Still, I had a feeling of uncertainty…

I continued walking, until I finally reached something. In the middle of the path was a large stone. 

I tried to walk around it, but when I took a step, I nearly fell off. Obviously, I couldn't see that I would fall down if I tried to go around. So, I used my cards to move it away. Yet, instead, they literally blew it up, sending it to pieces. 

I looked at one of the larger pieces, as I saw that there were words on it.

_Syaoran and Sakura_

_ _

__I looked at it, and then kept running down the path, knowing that he had to be here.

I must have run for hours, still not coming to anything. I walked, until I saw a light touching the ground. 

I ran towards it, as I looked around. It seemed to be a normal house. Yet, through the open door, I didn't see the black darkness of which I had just exited…

I saw a beautiful lake.

I took some more time looking around the house. I saw a display case over a fireplace. So, I blew off the dust, and inside was…

…Li's sword.

I tried to find a way to open it, but it was all in vain. How was Li's sword here? Had he been here before?

Still, I walked out, towards the lake, as I heard a piano play in the distance. I ran towards the water, and drank some, as I realized something…

…this water. It wasn't real…

So, I stopped drinking it, and I realized that even if I drank a lot of water, I was still thirsty. It wasn't real after all. Still, it was real enough…

Then, I heard the piano sound as if all the keys were slammed together. Then, there was a deafning silence. I looked all around me, as I could hear the wind blow, so softly. I looked around again, seeing if I saw anything…

Then, I felt the mild wind turn into a gust. Then, the weather became stormy as I struggled to maintain my balance. The wind blew harder and harder, as it revealed itself. It was obviously the windey card…

-==========-

Chapter IX – Guardian Battle 3 – Windey – Guardian of Placid Lake.

-==============================================-

I had to be careful, because this had to be one of the more powerful cards. It had much more experience, because it was one of my most-used cards. So, I had to call upon my most powerful cards. 

I concentrated hard, as I summoned the Clow Wand. It had to be a long time, and this thing seemed a bit shorter.

I quickly brought forward the Firey and Shot card. 

I remembered an old trick that Li taught me.

In fact, I could hear his voice in my head right now…

_Just call upon two cards, and make them fight together. The result will be a devestating double attack!_

_ _

__So, as the two cards were released, I quickly yelled out loud from the top of my lungs…

_Shot and Firey! Work as one!_

_ _

__…and so with that, the firey flew high ointo the air, as the shot stayed behind.

The windey tried to attack the shot card, but it merely moved out of the way. As the windey became tired, the firey flew down from the dark clouds that the windey created.

As the firey landed on the ground, it created a large wall of fire, which was directly in front of the shot card. So, without a penny to lose, the shot started to fire, as thousands of flaming projectiles came flying towards the windey. 

The small shots sent the Windey into yelps of pain. With each shot, the windey became weaker and weaker.

Still, even as the attack was done, the windey still stood, attacking me. I had to dodge each and every gusy, and blast. 

So, I brought the firey back into its card, and called out the lightening. After a brief flash of light, the Lightening appeared, standing strong, and roaring with pride. 

_Shot and Thunder! Work as one!_

_ _

__The shot jumped on the thunder's back, as they jumped into the clouds. Then, with a flash of lightening, hundreds of bolts of lightening shot down toards the ground, scorching it, and scorching the Windey card as well. 

Still, the windey continued to stand, even as it looked weary.

_Nothing will bring it down _I thought to myself.

---

# I am the Windey

_Once a friends, still a friend_

_And yet I have been forgotten_

_By the one who I once called a friend._

_ _

_I stand guard at this place, for a long time_

_And nobody shall take it away_

_Nor pass it_

_Without a fight._

_ _

I glanced at the flying wreck that was the windey. Obviously, Windey was willing to fight this one to the death. Yet, it still realized who I was, and I didn't have the heart to hurt it any furthur.

The windey slowly tried to get up, and then fell again. I ran over to it, but it blasted me away with a burst of wind. 

I watched it, and cried in my own shame. What kind of heartless bastard was I to ignore such a thing…?

I stood there for what seemed like hours. The windey stayed on the ground, staring at me. Just staring with those golden eyes, the eyes that instantly struck fear into me. 

Then, when I looked up, I saw a figure appear. He held a sword, and came down, hood draped over his head. 

The Windey continued to stare at me, as the figure quickly slahed the Windey, and vanished.

_You don't have the heart to do it…_

_ _

__I screamed out loud, as the windey slowly disinegrated into the air. When I finally reached it, all that there was left was a card. A small rectangular card. 

I felt bad, as if I had done something wrong…and I did.

Hadn't I betrayed an old friend?

Still, the two of us did what we were supposed to do…

…damn that fate…

Still, I remembered that I had to be strong.

I just had to, it's the only way I could possibly find Li.

…and then I thought hard for a moment, ignoring my tears for a few minutes.

Exactly who was the hooded man from before?

-============-

Chapter X – The End Grows Near…

-========================-

Chronos stood far behind Sakura, as he watched her enter the next door. Obviously, she couldn't have captured that card, she didn't have the heart to. Even if she hid that life behind the bars which was her reality, all bars have spaces in between…

So, Chronos put his sword into the case, and walked towards the door himself. Making perfectly sure he was on the right track, he thought of how he could just tell her the truth…

---

I stopped for a while to open my bag, and eat my lunch. Just a small one that I had expected to eat at the beach.

I looked around again. I was in another one of my memories. I still had to find out exactly which one I was in.

Still, it had no matter. I had to be on the right track…I just had to be…

I took some more time to just sit and think. I thought about how Li looked right now. Then I wondered exactly why he had never returned. I was worried that I wouldn't see him alive…

I had to get rid of that! If I kept thinking this way, I'll lose all my confidence. 

So, I stuffed my mouth with another Nikoman, and packed up everything again.

I continued walking, as I realized exactly where I was. 

I was back where I started.

I saw myself enter a door, and disappear, as flaming arrows filled the sky.

Each one, giving a goodbye to those they hit.

I saw several people to the side getting hit by the arrows, while saving the ones they loved.

I looked all around me, feeling as if I were spinning round and round and round.

People falling. Houses burning. Screaming…

I felt another tap on my back, as I knew immediately who it was.

It was Chronos again…

_So, Sakura. _He said to me calmly. _Not finding your reality very comforting?_

_ _

__I stared at him blankly. He had made me confused.

_You have put yourself in despair for too long. So, thus, this is your reality. _

_ _

_You see nothing more than the despair of the people around you. You only see the burning, and the screaming. Still, you take it as it is, because you believe that you will just wake up and find another door to escape from._

_ _

__I looked at him, as I looked at the door that was right next to me.

_You've been through that door. You know where it leads to. You know what exactly is behind that door_.

He was right though. If I went through that doorto run away again, I would go back to where I had started from.

_So you see Sakura, this place is nmothing more than an image of your ownself. The screaming of your soul to break free from misery. The burning of your heart with despiar. Your soul, falling into this deep sea that you, yourself, have created for yourself._

_ _

__Now it was getting clear of where I was. I wasn't in some weird dimension, or place that the Chronos created. I was stuck inside my own mind, drowning in my own reality. The reality that I had been running from all this time. And now there was nowhere to run now.

_Sakura, this quest about finding Li. This…adventure, as you call it, is nothing more than a quest to find the plug for this place. The very plug that will make all of this reality go down the drain, and allow you to breathe a breath of air. You are trying to find your own self, Sakura._

_ _

__I know now. I know exactly why I'm here, and what I must do. I need to let go completely. I need to conquer my own fears. And that is what I plan to do…

---

I stood up, and looked outwards towards the horizon. The town had disappeared, and I was standing in a field. With Chronos behind me…

I now knew what I have to do. I WILL get out of here, for my own self!

Chronos smiled, as he led me to the next door. The final door. The door of in which I would confront my fears.

---

I saw Sakura walk through that door, as I knew that she didn't know exactly who she was fighting. Still, I had to have fate decide, because she didn't know that what she had originally came here for, was actually right here, watching her as she went through….

-===========-

Chapter XII – The Final Confrontation

-=========================-

As I exited the door, I quickly saw who I was facing. It was a girl, maybe around 18 years of age. She had long hair, and she was obviously….me…

_Hello, sis. _She told me. She started to smile, as she looked at me. She was obviously like me in every way, from the shoes to the shirt.

_I guess you weren't expecting me, but the Earthey card. _She replied. _…but I'll bet the earthey will be back after it wakes up._

_ _

__I stared at the other me in fear. Was this me? Was this truly me?

_Its time for you to enter your own reality, sis! _She yelled at me.

The other me started to close her eyes, as a black ball slowly appeared.

Then, the small ball exploded, creating a flash of back light. Then, I saw myself standing in what seemed to be the middle of space. The stars and everything. There was a floor beneath me, so I could only guess where I was.

…I was back in my reality…

The other me stared to say a few words, as it called out the Watey card. I simply stood where I was. I knew exactly what to do to myself.

I quickly called out the shield card, as a round blueish sphere appeared, surrounding and protecting me.

The watey card simply stared at me, as I started to walk forward. 

I saw large bursts fly towards my direction, and I quicly dodged them, as another hit me. My shield absorbed it, but I was still sent flying back. Yet, I just stood up, and continued to walk.

_You are part of this reality._

_ _

__I started to talk, as the other me continued to order the watey card to try and kill me.

_You are simply a part of me._

_ _

__The watey card continued to stare at me, as the other me called out the firey card to fight with the watey.

_My reality is your reality._

_ _

__The firey card started to fight, as the sheild card absorbed its attacks. 

_Your reality is my reality._

_ _

__The watey card started to fight as well, as the other me sent out the Windey and the shot.

_Whatever hurts me inside , hurts you._

_ _

__The four cards continued to attack me, as I was sent flying back each time. Yet, the pain never reached my head, even as I clutched my arm. As the next shot was fired, the shield card started to disappear. When the shot finally did hit me, I wasn't protected anymore…

So, it hit me. I was sent back, furthur than before. My arm was bleeding, and I had a large gash on the side of my face. Still, I stood up, and closed my eyes. There was only one way I could possibly defeat my own depression. I had to use it against my own self…

I thought hard, as I remembered my own life…

...the death of my father…

...the death of my mother…

…the disappearance of Li…

Soon, my mind was filled with feelings of unhappiness. I lost complete control of myself, as the blackness of my sadness surrounded my body like a field of energy. The other me started to feel uncertain, as it ordered the cards to attack me. A bust of Water, Wind, Fire, and Shot came spirling towards my direction. I merely flung the blast away, and continued walking towards my own self.

_My world is a sad and lonely place…_

_ _

__They kept attacking me, as I stared to run. I was running towards the other me, and I seemed to be blinded by my own misery. When I finally reached her, I picked her up by the collar, as she looked at me. Stared at my blood-red eyes. 

I was filled with insanity at that moment. With thoughts of hate and fear. I threw the other me into the air, as the black field around me gathered in my hands. I stared at my other self in the air, as I pointed my hands up, and a large ball of hate, regret, and misery flew into the air and hit the other me. As it hit, I heard a scream, as white light filled the air. Her cards faded into the air along with her, as a small white rose fell to where I was standing. 

I felt refreshed, as if I had suddenly forgotten everything that had happened to me for the past few years. And for the first time in a long time, I smiled….

…it was all over. 

-=========-

Chapter 12 – It is all over…

-==================

The black void of which I was in suddenly faded away, as I found myself standing near some train tracks. 

I looked down at my hands, as I sighed. I felt better, and I felt content, which was a good feeling. 

Still, I felt as if something was missing from my life. I knew that Li was still gone, and it still stabbed my heart, but I still felt like a normal person. I wasn't despairing his disappearance any longer. Still, a large piece of my heart was missing from my heart…

I heard a voice behind me, as I saw Chronos standing behind me. I looked at him with a tear in my eye, as he told me that it was all finished.

Yet, he could feel a piece of me missing from myself…

He put his hand on my shoulder, as he silently told me that I would find what I was looking for. I would find it very, very soon. 

---

I had to tell her that. I just did. I didn't know what would happen to me if I would return to that place. Would everyone remember me? Is Wei and Meilin still there? I'm not sure exactly. Still, I thought that she would have recogized me by now. Have I really changed that much? I'm not sure…live is so uncertain.

She now knows me as Chronos, not Li Syaoran, not the Li she remembered from so long ago. 

I am heartbroken, but should I tell her that Li Syaoran is standing right here, holding her again?

It is ironic, how she says that I won't regognize her, while it is she who doesn't recognize me…

---

Sakura smiled and waved goodbye to Chronos, and she started to walk on one of the rails. A few minues passed, as Chronos saw her disappear, and come back to her own world. As he looked out, he dropped a small keepsake from his childhood. It was a small bracelet, one that had been given to him by someone he knew dearly. 

Chronos held a small rose, as he took off his cape. He left it on the ground, leaving it behind. 

Another door appeared, as he walked through…

_Time to go back home…_

_ _

_ _

__---End---

Find this story confusing? Well, e-mail me at : [UkyoSpatula@cs.com][2]!

_ _

   [1]: http://www.vgmusic.com/music/console/sony/psx/ccross_Radical_Dreamers.mid
   [2]: mailto:UkyoSpatula@cs.com



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